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Why There is No English Edition of Tahiti Pacifique
Apr 7, 07 - 11:10: PM

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Every day, many emails inquire if there is an "English version" of Tahiti-Pacifique magazine. Civilized people used to instant coffee, instant diapers, instant gratification and instant divorce also feel entitled to instant news from Tahiti.

 

Alas, there is no English version of Tahiti-Pacifique, just as there is no French version of "Time" or "Newsweek".

 

So smart people ask : "Well, if so many inquire, then why the hell don't you publish an English version ?"

 

We reply : "Would you publish an Ukrainian language magazine in Hawaii ?"

 

Your answer will be : "Of course not, I'm not crazy !".

 

Thus you must understand that there are more Ukrainians living in Hawaii than Americans in Tahiti. The latest census (year 2003) showed that less then 110 US citizens (most of whom speak French and Tahitian) are permanent residents in Tahiti.  

 

So, would you publish a magazine for 110 potential readers ? Of course not. As for tourists, Tahiti only had about 100.000 English speaking visitors last year, and they're not at all interested in local news.

 

Remember that all of French Polynesia holds only 245.000 souls living on 117 islands, and that half of these people are less than 20 years old. Also, as reading is not a great Polynesian tradition, it is already a miracle that this French language magazine even exists !

 

Thus, the only other solution for you to get good news from Tahiti is to learn French.

It is a beautiful language !

 

As I happen to speak 5 languages, please allow me to give expert advice on how to achieve this quickly :

- The best way to learn a foreign language is in bed.

- If you are a man, get quickly a French,or, even better, a Tahitian mistress.

- If you are one of these liberated, efficient, ambitious and modern females, get a French or Tahitian lover.

- And for those new fashoniable gays, just invert partners specified above.

 

The publisher

 




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